I feel overwhelmed.
The sheer number of items on my to-do list seems to have multiplied in the last week, and my heart says I am tired. Tired of complicated. Tired of mundane but necessary. Tired of planning ahead. Tired of dealing with things that I never anticipated; for example, my CPR certification expires August 2010... but I'll be out of the country at that time, so I'd better take the class (in my "spare time") and renew it now.
All of this logistical quagmire has a beautiful purpose: this is the journey I must walk in order to return to the Africa Mercy in January. I'm exactly where I should be, following God's calling... but I'm tired.
I thought about not posting today (rationalizing that no one would notice the absence), but immediately after that thought occurred to me so did another: thankfulness may sometimes be a feeling, but it is more often a choice.
I've been reading in the Old Testament, in Exodus. I've been underlining just how often God does things "so that you may know there is no one like the Lord your God." It's on every single page, in every single chapter. But is it in my heart and mind?
Consider Moses' question and God's reply, from the last part of chapter 5 and parts of chapter 6:
"O Lord, why have you brought trouble upon this people? ...you have not rescued your people at all."
"I am the Lord. ...I will free you... I will redeem you... I will take you as my own... Then you will know that I am the Lord your God."
So today I will choose to be thankful for a God who frees me, who redeems me, who takes me as His own, and who desires me to know Him.
Today I'm joining in the gratitude community over at Holy Experience.