Letting go is especially challenging for a woman who loves to plan ahead, loves to strategize, loves to think in multiple scenarios, and loves to (try to) be in control.
A quote that I have been thinking about for a couple months now from Seeds of Sensitivity by Robert J. Wicks: "It is only when you move into the future without God that you experience anxiety."
I am choosing to move into the future with God, which necessarily means letting go of my plans and expectations. I am choosing to trust that God's dreams for me are ever so much grander than I could ever dream.
And I am choosing not to give in to thoughts of "what in the world have I done?!"
What I do know: it's time to once again step up to the edge of the cliff, take a deep breath, and trust.
I don't know what I will be doing after the new year, an uncertainty which is a totally new experience for me. I may be looking for a job somewhere in the neighborhood of San Antonio or Austin, Texas; I may be back on the Africa Mercy for the Togo outreach; I may be travel nursing in Australia. Or goodness only knows what else.
It's a dangerous business... going out of your door...You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to. (JRR Tolkien)